The saying dictates that we're not supposed to hate the player, we're supposed to hate the game.

Okay then. Let's hate on "The Bachelor" a little, because the game forces the title character to become a player, and ultimately it's not right for anyone -- not him, not the women he has to choose.

And at the same time, it's ridiculously compelling television -- which says more about me and the rest of the audience than them -- and hard to feel too much pain for the people involved, as they should have had some idea what would happen. So we're left with basically hoping that our boy, Bob Guiney, and his chosen woman will be happy, that the last rejected woman won't be too devastated, and everyone will just go and live their lives after this.

Especially when the happy couple -- in the interest of not burying the lead any deeper, he chooses Estella -- doesn't even end up engaged, fer cripe's sake.

We head into Wednesday's (Nov. 19) two-hour finale knowing Bob faces a really tough decision, mostly because he reminds us in every face-to-face he has with the camera. He's hoping his family will help him decide.

Mom Nora clearly has her ideas. She digs Estella, the first to visit the family's Michigan lake house, and hard. And from the evidence we're presented, it looks like Estella feels at home with her, dad Bob, sister Dee Dee and brother-in-law J.D. She scores extra points by telling Mom how much she wants kids.

Bob hems and haws a little bit about how big a dilemma he faces, and Dee Dee, to her everlasting credit, goes off on her brother a little. She realizes he's still a little afraid to open up post-divorce, but she tells him he better get over it pretty fast.

Kelly Jo visits the next day in the wake of the family's effusive praise of Estella. Her bubbly personality quickly wins over Dad and J.D., but Mom is a little cooler toward her than she was to Estella, saying later that she was disappointed Kelly Jo didn't make as much effort to get to know her as Estella had.

After Kelly Jo leaves, the family goes all Dr. Phil on Bob, telling him he has to be ready to fall in love again himself before he decides which of the two women is the one for him. And by the way, they say, do whatever makes you happiest.

Bob is nonplussed by all the talk of feelings and wall-breaking. He just wants someone to validate his decision-making.

Next comes a night at Bob's Malibu digs with each one. There is much deep talk with Estella, who proclaims that she only wants someone who'll love her as deeply as she loves him. Her perfect ending is him grabbing her hand and saying "I'm so ready."

Kelly Jo comes over the next night, and she and Bob have their usual goofy time at first, burning their steaks on the grill and spilling beverages and the like. Bob tells the camera that he could see himself being very happy with her, but to these ears it sounds like he's trying to convince himself of that.

Interspersed throughout the show are the segments where everyone goes to look at engagement rings, easily the most boring part of any "Bachelor" finale. Estella does, however, produce a head-scratcher of a statement after her trip to Harry Winston.

"I've always known I'd be surprised when my boyfriend proposes to me," she says. If she's always known something, how will it be a surprise? And when she does get a proposal, will she remember to be surprised?

Anyway, once Bob gets his ring, he's suddenly Mr. Confidence, at peace with his decision and ready to pop his question. Maybe it came to him in his sleep or something; we viewers get precious little explanation as to how he arrived at it.

Kelly Jo arrives for the big moment first, fully expecting to be the one. Bob explains how he went into this process as something of a cynic (the first time we've heard him use that word all series, by the way), and how meeting Kelly Jo has meant the world to him.

But.

He basically gives her an elaborate it's-not-you-it's-me routine, with a little you-deserve-better thrown in for seasoning. He then asks if Kelly Jo is all right, to which she honestly replies "No, not at all. It sucks." She saves her tears for the limo, then talks about how she's mad and shocked and sad all at once.

Estella arrives, and Bob opens with the cynic spiel again (it seems awfully cheesy to recycle in this situation, don'tcha think?). He goes on to say, though, that he's stuck in her mind since the first night when she put his hand on her heart and stumbled down the stairs, and he thinks her character and wit and all that outweigh her beauty.

And then he pops the question. Or maybe "fizzles" is the more appropriate verb, as he places the ring on Estella's right, non-engagement-signifying hand. "It's not that we're not there yet," he tells her. "I just want to make sure. ... I want to see where we can go."

Estella doesn't seem to mind, repeating "Oh my God" over and over and declaring herself the luckiest girl in the world, or something close to it.

So now it's done, save the "After the Final Rose" special Thursday and the inevitable "Oprah" appearances and all that. May Bob and Estella live a happy, and private, life from there.